Family law and a father's rights and responsibilities
Written by James Belderbos, director at Belderbos Solicitors
International Men’s Day, marked each year on November 19, has become a popular awareness day globally, giving people an opportunity to focus on the role men play in society. In a world in which men are so often at an unfair advantage because of their gender, it is perhaps no wonder that this day doesn’t receive the attention of International Women's Day (March 8).
Yet, its themes, including the need for positive male role models, serve as a reminder of the vital part that men play in family life, most acutely as parents. Various studies and pieces of research have been published on the importance to a child’s upbringing of their father.
This Government literature review, for example, tells us that ‘a large amount of evidence was found to suggest that fathers’ involvement in childcare can help reduce a number of negative outcomes for children in terms of emotional and behavioural problems’. To have both parents involved in a child’s upbringing, if those relationships are positive, can only be of benefit to the child, the literature concludes.
In family law, however, it is not uncommon for solicitors to hear a father express anxiety about the time they will get to spend with their children after a divorce. There are various popular misconceptions in law, and one is that the child is more likely to reside with their mum post split, leaving the dad with limited rights and time spent with their son or daughter.
Common questions for a family lawyer include, ‘do mothers have more rights than fathers after a divorce?’, or ‘will my child spend more time with their mother after a divorce?’. In the often highly emotional aftermath of a family breakdown when children are involved, dads often think that they will now spend a lot less time with their kids.
The perception of bias in child arrangements
While UK family law has evolved significantly to ensure that both parents have equal rights and responsibilities in regard to their children, the perception that fathers are disadvantaged persists. This misconception can stem from a variety of factors, such as:
Historical bias
historically, mothers were often granted primary custody, as it was then known, particularly in cases involving young children. This societal bias can still linger, despite legal changes.
Stereotypes
stereotypical assumptions about gender roles, such as the idea that mothers are inherently better care givers, can influence perceptions of parental suitability.
Lack of awareness of legal changes
many people may not be aware of the significant changes in family law that have occurred in recent decades.
The truth, of course, is quite different.
In short, the law in this country distinguishes very little between father and mother when it comes to child arrangements. The child's best interests are the number one priority, regardless of the gender of the parent. Factors such as the child's emotional needs, the quality of each parent's relationship with the child, and the ability of each parent to provide a stable and loving home are all considered.
But do I have parental responsibility?
In family law in this country, all mothers and most fathers have legal rights and responsibilities as a parent. These, collectively, are know as ‘parental responsibility’. If you have parental responsibility, your most important roles are to provide a home for your child, and to look after them. Other responsibilities include disciplining the child and choosing and providing their education.
Parental responsibility, then, is central to where a child lives and with whom they spend their time.
It is true that a mother automatically has parental responsibility for her child from birth. However, a father will have parental responsibility, too, it he’s either:
- married to the child’s mother
- listed on the birth certificate (after a certain date, depending on which part of the UK the child was born in)
- jointly adopted a child
And you can obtain parental responsibility if you do not automatically have it. You can achieve this by getting a parental responsibility agreement with the mother, or by applying to a court. As a member of Resolution, we favour keeping these matters outside of court wherever possible.
Importantly, both mother and father keep parental responsibility if they later divorce.
What are my options as a father after a divorce or separation?
As I touched on above, there are in-court and out-of-court solutions to making child arrangements after a relationship breakdown. My strongest recommendation is to pursue the latter whenever possible. Options include:
- Mediation - you may feel that you can discuss children issues with your ex-partner but would benefit from some support when you don’t see eye to eye
- A collaborative family law process - here, you and your ex-partner work with your lawyers to negotiate arrangements for where your child or children reside
- Arbitration - you and your partner appoint an arbitrator who assesses your situation and makes a decision on your child’s living arrangements that is final and binding between all parties
Or, if your relationship with your child’s other parent is a positive one, make arrangements between you, without legal advice. For more information on out-of-court solutions, visit our web page here.
The importance of parental relationships
The evidence to support the central importance of parental relationships to a child’s life are very well documented. Positive relationships with both mum and dad give a child security, safety, guidance, discipline and so much more.
My advice to any mum and dad who come to us for advice is to seek wherever possible a resolution in which both parents can support and nurture their child. A divorce or separation may be the end of a relationship between mother and father, but it shouldn’t mean a breakdown in the loving relationship of a child with either parent.
